wat bout pragnant strippers??
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
