some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
