im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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