Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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