My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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