4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
