Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
