She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
