If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
