Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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