God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
