Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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