I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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