i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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