Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize