If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
