Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
