doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
