I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
