It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
