so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
