so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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