I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
