So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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