So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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