I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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