You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize