This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
