Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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