The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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