I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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