I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The feeling are messing with the penis
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
