he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
