Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
