You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
