Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How does one acquire holy water?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
