I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
