I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
