About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize