The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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