Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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