don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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