Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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