...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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