I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
