I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
