I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
