Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
