we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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