I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
