I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
