Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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