I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
