Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
