I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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