how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
